Scarlett Stories | Volume 1

FML.

'ME TOO' has a totally different meaning in my world.

It means that anything the 7yo can do, the 4yo isn't far behind.

My younger daughter started crawling early, walking before she could barely feed herself, and talking full conversations before she was 2, it actually freaked people out when they would find out how old she was. She's 4 now and acts like a TOTAL teenager - 100%. Talks with attitude, walks with sassy grace, and beats the daylights out of everyone in the family. Our oldest learned how to ride a bike without training wheels this past Monday, and by Wednesday - our 4yo also learned. When that happened, my future flashed in front of me. Here's what I saw: a 16yo going on a date and a 13yo rebelling because she wants to date (INSERT PALM TO FACE).

When the girls were 3 and 5.5, my husband asked what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most kids say a mommy, a doctor, or something ambitious. Scarlett TAKES.THE.CAKE on this one. Addison said she wanted to be a teacher (so sweet); Scarlett said she wanted to be a Tornado. YEP. Destructing everything in its path, which seems fitting for her personality. Hence, her family nickname of 'tornado'. GIRRRRL. As much slack as I give this kid, Scarlett is my spirit animal. I only wish I could be just like her. She says what's on her mind and does whatever her little body tells her to do. She only listens when she wants to and legit is smarter than the average adult. She makes you think of things in a different way and her humor could fill an entire book with her one-liners.

Along with her amazing sweetness comes that crazy little inner biatch that we all have, don't deny it, I know you have it. Embrace it, be like Scarlett. When she's in the middle of a story and you cut her off? She'll tell you, "Shut your mouth when you're talking to me" and go on with her story. If she had it her way, she would be making out with anything that breathes. She's watched 100 too many knight in shining armor Disney movies. She's our sour patch kid, no doubt. She will smother you in kisses one minute and kick you in the shins the next.

Last night, a nice Sunday night all together with family, I watched as Scarlett slow-mo punched her 1.5yo brother in the face. I yelled at her and asked her what she thought she was doing. She responded with, "I didn't do it. My hand just curled up like a ball and wanted to go between his eyes." Seriously? This is your response? FML. How do you respond to that without hysterically laughing? Super Nanny - I need you pronto.

The copycat game is silently played in my house only by Scarlett. Anything her big sister says, she repeats. WORD FOR WORD. You can only imagine how bonkers this makes the older one, but I sit back and laugh and sip on my wine. I fold. I choose my battles and usually it's at bedtime. If it's only 3pm and I'm drunk? That's ok, I can't be judged - quarantine bitches.

Could you say no to her? I'm waving my flag because I surrender.

"Scarlett Stories" will now be an occasional blog posting, stay tuned, you don't want to miss out on them.